CHALLENGING RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

Having a partner who experiences mental illness or addiction can be a major stressor in relationships. Undiagnosed, untreated or mismanaged mental health concerns or addictive behaviors are silent killers in relationships. However, couples do live fulfilling lives together in spite of one or both partners experiencing addiction or c.  The problem is not because of the illness itself, but because of the downstream effects on the relationship when not managed well. This is because we operate on assumptions in relationships: assumptions that we can trust our partner, that they will behave or react in predictable ways, that we can accurately track our partners moods, motives and moves. Untreated or mismanaged mental illness or addiction removes that sense of security and safety that is foundational in relationships.

When experiencing significant mental health struggles or addictive behavior, the relationship can become unbalanced, with one partner over-functioning to manage the situation and often, the other becomes the “under or non-functioning” partner. It never feels good to try to manage someone else, and it never feels good to be managed.

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