Having a partner who experiences mental illness or addiction can be a major stressor in relationships. Undiagnosed, untreated or mismanaged mental health concerns or addictive behaviors are silent killers in relationships. However, couples do live fulfilling lives together in spite of one or both partners experiencing addiction or chronic mental health concerns or crises such as depression, anxiety, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD, and others. The problem is not because of the illness itself, but because of the downstream effects on the relationship when not managed well. This is because we operate on assumptions in relationships: assumptions that we can trust our partner, that they will behave or react in predictable ways, that we can accurately track our partners moods, motives and moves. Untreated or mismanaged mental illness or addiction removes that sense of security and safety that is foundational in relationships.
When one partner is experiencing significant mental health struggles or addictive behavior, the relationship can become lopsided, with one partner over-functioning to manage the situation and often, the other becomes the “under or non-functioning” partner. It never feels good to try to manage someone else, and it never feels good to be managed.
If your addiction or mental illness is causing a strain in your relationship, it is time to get individual help for yourself, and couple’s therapy for your relationship. With a licensed counselor you can begin the process of repairing the relationships and restoring order and trust. It requires commitment and consistency, and often this requires getting help to find the root of the problem instead of just patching things together and white-knuckling it until the next crisis.
If you or your partner is not addressing their mental illness or addictive behavior, please seek help today. Click the button for a free consultation about your relationship. Nothing changes until something changes. This one small step may be the catalyst to the relationship you’ve always wanted.